Yeah, so that British birdwatching blog is rubbish. He spends more time making up card games and carol/bird puns than proper birdwatching. You should not subscribe to him at all. This blog is where it's really at. Plus, all my birds is proper forrin an exotic, instead of boring British birds.
This one is an Australian Magpie:
You can tell this from his distinctive plumage and the fact all his ancestors are convicts. Hahaha. That was a joke about Australians all being descended from convicts. It's funny like, because the deportation of people for petty crimes to alleviate prison overcrowding in the wake of the death of the Bloody Code is funny. Plus Australians wear corks around their hats to keep the flies off, although they don't nowadays because decent quality cork is expensive, so now they use metal screwcaps instead. Christmas carol pun: "Away in a magpie (manger)"
This one is a Tui.
You can tell from his jizz (no, I ain't being rude like, it's a real birdspotting word) and his white tuft on his neck. Tui's are really noisy birds who like imitating sounds. You know the crap letters that The Daily Telegraph get about the first cuckoos of spring? Well, the boring people who write those letters emigrate to New Zealand and write to The New Zealand Herald about what noises their local Tuis make, like the sound of a phone ringing, trucks reversing or twittering Gangnam Style and doing the horse-riding dance move with it's wings (I reckons I made that one up, and that's why they never published my letter). This one is flying past a cabbage tree and then sitting in a Bottlebrush tree, drinking the nectar out of the flowers. Christmas carol pun: "Santa Claus is coming Tui (to) town)"
This one is an Oyster Catcher. He just done a big wee puddle and is stood in it. Idiot bird. Christmas carol pun: "Rudolph the Red Nosed Oyster Catcher".
This is a baby Collared Dove, sleeping:
I know you can't see the collared bit, but I did when my cat horked it up on the doorstep later. This example is sleeping while ants start eating it because they think it is dead because it's head is missing, but it's not it's sleeping. Or that's what I told my kids. Christmas carol pun: "Dove Actually" I know it's not actually a carol, it's a film, but "Dove is all around me" doesn't really count, because people might think I mean the original song by The Troggs which ain't traditionally a Christmas classic, but the version by Bill Nighy is what I meant even though the lyrics of that one are actually "Christmas is all around" so it don't make sense really, a bit like Love Actually which is mainly about blokes with power deciding to have relationships with their subordinates (staff/cleaners/Martine McCutcheon) Not really love, actually, is it. More like abuse of power.
So yeah, that's my attempt at a New Zealand birdwatching blog, and it was shit, so you should probably go here to see the British baldmonkeyseenabird after all. I ain't even got a list of NZ birds to be crossing off is all I'm saying.
HereisafungusIwin:
This one is an Australian Magpie:
You can tell this from his distinctive plumage and the fact all his ancestors are convicts. Hahaha. That was a joke about Australians all being descended from convicts. It's funny like, because the deportation of people for petty crimes to alleviate prison overcrowding in the wake of the death of the Bloody Code is funny. Plus Australians wear corks around their hats to keep the flies off, although they don't nowadays because decent quality cork is expensive, so now they use metal screwcaps instead. Christmas carol pun: "Away in a magpie (manger)"
This one is a Tui.
You can tell from his jizz (no, I ain't being rude like, it's a real birdspotting word) and his white tuft on his neck. Tui's are really noisy birds who like imitating sounds. You know the crap letters that The Daily Telegraph get about the first cuckoos of spring? Well, the boring people who write those letters emigrate to New Zealand and write to The New Zealand Herald about what noises their local Tuis make, like the sound of a phone ringing, trucks reversing or twittering Gangnam Style and doing the horse-riding dance move with it's wings (I reckons I made that one up, and that's why they never published my letter). This one is flying past a cabbage tree and then sitting in a Bottlebrush tree, drinking the nectar out of the flowers. Christmas carol pun: "Santa Claus is coming Tui (to) town)"
This one is an Oyster Catcher. He just done a big wee puddle and is stood in it. Idiot bird. Christmas carol pun: "Rudolph the Red Nosed Oyster Catcher".
This is a baby Collared Dove, sleeping:
I know you can't see the collared bit, but I did when my cat horked it up on the doorstep later. This example is sleeping while ants start eating it because they think it is dead because it's head is missing, but it's not it's sleeping. Or that's what I told my kids. Christmas carol pun: "Dove Actually" I know it's not actually a carol, it's a film, but "Dove is all around me" doesn't really count, because people might think I mean the original song by The Troggs which ain't traditionally a Christmas classic, but the version by Bill Nighy is what I meant even though the lyrics of that one are actually "Christmas is all around" so it don't make sense really, a bit like Love Actually which is mainly about blokes with power deciding to have relationships with their subordinates (staff/cleaners/Martine McCutcheon) Not really love, actually, is it. More like abuse of power.
So yeah, that's my attempt at a New Zealand birdwatching blog, and it was shit, so you should probably go here to see the British baldmonkeyseenabird after all. I ain't even got a list of NZ birds to be crossing off is all I'm saying.
HereisafungusIwin:
Lol. I prefer a simpler kind of birdwatching. If they're not tits, I'm not interested...
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