Masterchef New Zealand

I have been watching Masterchef New Zealand recently, and realised that the producers are missing out on an opportunity to make the Best TV Show Ever for pretty much FREE!

"How would it work?" I hear you ask. Well, I'm glad you asked - let me tell you.

When they are doing the first few episodes where they do the auditions of anyone who wants to take part, they should select enough bad chefs to film two shows at the same time: "Masterchef New Zealand" and "Monkeychef New Zealand". Basically, use the Dunning-Kruger effect to select the most painfully bad chefs who are painfully unaware of their limitations. And then set them challenges which are even harder than the ones on the real Masterchef programme; like halving the time available for the challenge, or not providing key ingredients, and watching the resulting overconfidence spawn magical results. Even better, each week, most of the bad chefs will think they are awesome because they got through to the next round, reinforcing the Dunning-Kruger effect further.

Mr Bean x 20 - how could it go wrong?

You could still film the real Masterchef programme in parallel, but I doubt costs would be doubled - you'd be able to use the same studio/kitchen set up, same editing team, same judges and just film on a different day of the week. Less than double = free!

The first few episodes might actually be some of the best ones - imagine closeups on the faces of the other contestants, as they see an idiot with a badly cooked dish getting selected? Just those disbelieving gobsmacked reactions would be great for filling an episode. And after the numpties have been given their aprons and escorted from the room, you could let the remaining people in on the joke and select the contestants for the "real Masterchef" programmes.

I know the idea would work, because they use it on the UK version of The Apprentice already, only they select the idiots for the actual show:

(Let's not get confused with Masterchef Australia, where it seems like the judges have been selected purely to be "eccentric" with Scary Stare Judge, and Creepy Cravat Judge)

Can you guess which one is Creepy Cravat Judge?

Also, today I've seen an episode of "Jamie Oliver Uses Every Single Saucepan and Utensil in the Kitchen in 30 Minutes and Never Washes Up"; it's boring - of course he can cook great ingredients in a great kitchen when he's had time to plan, but how about challenging him with "Jamie Olivers 30 Minute Meth Lab Kitchen", where he can only cook using ingredients and equipment he can find inside the lab.

And make him wash up afterwards, too.

If there are any TV Producers wanting to contact me to buy the rights, you can email me at shacklemore@gmail.com! Let's make TV better!