Once in your hotel, you will be transported back 35 years to the days when colour co-ordination and interior design went on a 10 year acid-trip. The hotel room includes a double bed, with a single duvet to make you feel unwelcome and cold. To make you feel even less comfortable, the bathroom has big bottles of shampoo screwed to the wall, instead of those nice little bottles that you can steal. The screws have rusted in, as I found when I attempted to remove them anyway.
Once you go to bed under your single duvet, you can rest assured that all of the neighbours in the block of flats overlooking you are watching you with their nightvision goggles, as the room does not have any curtains, and everyone knows that there are only 2 types of Germans - sexual deviants and war criminals. After a night being watched by war criminals and sexual deviants, you can go for a disappointing hotel breakfast of sliced bread, cheese and ham-like-substances.
On checking out from the hotel, a unjolly fat man who doesn't stand up will passively-aggressively blow pipe smoke at you when you point out that the reciept is unacceptable as it is printed wrong. 3 times. He will accuse you of holding up the queue of people wanting to checkout, when it is obviously him that is making such a cack-handed job of doing his job.
Luckily, on meeting our colleagues, they were friendly, helpful and even bought us lunch and some chocolates. Then they took us for a walk along the River Elbe.
Overall score: 8/10
- -1 point for Incorrect Flag colours
- -6 for not laughing at my jokes about invading Poland. It's not like they didn't get them first time - I made sure to tell each one slowly several times.
- 10 points for our hosts taking us on a riverside walk on a sunny day
- 5 points for our hosts buying our lunch
0 comments:
Post a Comment